Insomnia settling in

It has been 3 weeks since my failed attempt at the ironman, and there are 49 weeks until I get to try again. For the last 3 nights I've either failed to get a good night sleep or had a crazy dream of failing a second time. I'm not sure yet how to handle this feeling. I'm trying to think about upcoming races, distract myself with a night out on the town, watch something mindnumbing on the television, eat a package of oreos, play with my puppies, dance, climb, swim, run, ride, you name it I've probably tried it (except drugs) and I just can't stop thinking about how the race could have gone. I should have used the guys shirt as a temporary gauze wrap until I got to the medical tent. I should have just got back on the bike. I should have never been so close to the side. I should have refused the medic and kept going. I should stop watching all of the YouTube videos of the race. I shouldn't watch the NBC special that'll be on universal sports channel on 8/26. I shouldn't keep that ripped jersey from that day. I should figure out a way to deal with this for 49 weeks so I don't drive those closest to me crazier than I already am. I should... Go to bed! Sorry these are just my exact thoughts that are on a shuffle/repeat mode in my head. For now I know the best I can do is "If at first you don't succeed, tri, tri, tri again!"

342 days, 4 hours, 22 minutes...

Back In the Saddle Again!

I recently just swam for the first time since Ironman Lake Placid, 2 weeks ago. The shoulder and arm feel fine. No pain, no gain, but there actually was no pain at all so I'll still just be an average swimmer tomorrow. During the entire swim session, I was trying to figure out how I swam 2.4 miles just 2 weeks ago, how I did it in 1:26, how much faster I can get for next year, and what I need to do to get there.

The last 2 weeks were not the easiest for me. The empty feeling of not finishing an Ironman drove me nuts. I looked up every ironman race all over the world for the remainder of the 2011 season and there is one that is still not sold out, Wales September 11, 2011. I had the budget worked out for both my support crew and me, but eventually realized the trip would not be feasible. So how do I move on from the race and train for next years race? Just fill in the remaining 346 days with other races. It's like swimming 2.4 miles, you have to take it 1 bouey at a time and watch out for guard rails.

Right now my current schedule is the following:

Sept 3, 2011             Boulder Sunset Triathlon (Olympic distance)

Sept 23-24, 2011     Ragnar Relay Race ~180 miles, 12 people, 2 vans, no sleep

Oct 2, 2011              70.3 Ironman Poconos (1/2 iron)

Nov 20, 2011           Philadelphia Marathon

July 22, 2012            IRONMAN LAKE PLACID (leave your guard rails at home)

Here's a link to my photos from Ironman Lake Placid 2011: https://picasaweb.google.com/108020159960837106309/IronmanLakePlacid2011?authkey=Gv1sRgCKHj5tP43vG_-AE#